The Return of the Blog!!!

          I have been away from blogging for quite some time now.  I use blogging for a kind of therapy for myself.  Life has been quite a roller coaster as of late and my anxiety issues have flared up. The need for a creative release has compelled me back to the Ipad.  I completely realize that perhaps 3-4 actual people may take the time to read one of my posts.  I am about as consistant when reading other friends blogs but like I said it's more of therapy for me.  I feel an urge to write and that's what I'm going to do. 
           I thought I would take this time to update some things in my life because I know several relatives like to keep up with what's going on here in the Cayton homestead.  My foster son Jeffery had his 3rd birthday this past August and we have officially had him longer than his birth parents had.  The permanent custody hearing for Jeffery is at the beginning of November and I will be testifying at the hearing.  This of course is a time of cautious optimism.  Things seem to be going our way but you can never count out a last minute hail mary to throw a wrench in everything.  Jeffery is coming along very nicely and is currently enrolled in pre-school and doing really well.  Robin and I are making it despite the ups and downs of being in the foster system.  Our case worker, who had been our case worker for over a year, just up and quit with no notice about a month ago.  That has concerned us greatly just because she was the one person who knew our situation the most and now it feels like we are going in blind.  I am very nervous about testifying but very determined to get my point across that he is in a better place.  That kid is everything to us now and I will do anything humanly possible to keep him safe.  The parents have been non-existant since February but did show up to find out there would be a trial.  They have threatened to have the paternal grandfather come in and try and adopt but we think its more of just them being desperate then that actually coming true.  It's very hard but hopefully we are in the home stretch. 
          There are many other stressers going on in my life, illnesses in the family, stress over finances around Christmas, things that are probably going on in most families but that still doesnt make it any easier.  Stress has been one of those things in my life that I have had a hard time dealing with.  Anxiety is at times crippled me and believe me when I say this....this recent patch of stressers almost took me down but fortunately I have a great family and great friends who make it easy to fight those overwelming feelings and continue to focus on the important things...like Jeffery.  There are times in life when you get dumped on alot, so much so that you feel like it will never end.  That is the shit cloud that is currently stationary above my head.  I will get through this, my family will get through this, and hopefully eventually we will  get a good cycle.  Until then, whoever braves my blog will be treated to wonderful and mostly pointless posts about a variety of topics.  I am honored to bore you with my opinions and twisted sense of humor.  Enjoy!