Dealing with Anxiety

Anxiety has wreaked havoc in my life for as long as I can remember.  It has been crippling at times.  Its a funny thing with me because I can go stretches where it doesn't affect me at all and then all of a sudden BAM! I start to stress over something small and it grows into something enormous.  Anxiety takes ahold of me and then all I can concentrate on is the What ifs?....What if I fail this test?.....What if I screw up at work?....It sucks.  Sometimes I just wished I had heart problems, or some other physical ailment instead...I know that sounds silly but when you have to explain to people why you act a certain way...they dont really get it.  My anxiety manifests into compulsive behavior....thank god nothing like gambling, but for example one year my anxiety had gotten so bad that I had signed up for so many Fantasy Football Leagues that I could never keep up with all of them.  When I say alot of Fantasy Leagues..I mean over 50.....sounds crazy...believe me I know.  I was in leagues that had noone that I even knew in them...complete strangers.  I realize now that it was a coping mechanism and it helped me not think of the things that I had anxiety about.  I unfortuantely probably have been dealing with this since I was a child but I think it was a hard thing to diagnose.  I grew accustom to hiding my stresses and pretending that nothing was wrong.  I still do that to this day.  People have a hard time understanding why I just dont confront things head on instead of hiding the fact that I am having a hard time.  Its not that easy for me.....When a thought pops in my head, I can't get rid of it.  It will dominate my thoughts and I wont be able to function sometimes.  When I'm feeling like this I always overthink things....I will think 2 or 3 steps ahead.  I will go stretches during the week where I can't sleep for more than 3-4 hour a night...then out of nowhere I will crash for like 12 hours.  I will admit that part of my problem in the past has been my reluctance to go to the doctor.  I have seen therapists and they have worked on the short term but eventually I stop going.  I have taken some medications also but they never really feel like they are doing anything.  I should give them a longer trial but if after 3 months i dont feel any better then I kinda give up on them.  I luckily have a great support group and a very understanding wife.  She is my rock.  I dont want anybody to think that im bouncing off the wall crazy..believe me im not...but I just have a hard time functioning like a normal adult does.  I am constantly worrying about the dumbest stuff.  I wish it was something that motivation could fix, because believe me Im motivated to get rid of it.  Anybody want it? I will gladly let you borrow it from me.  Im sure there are people out there that are reading this that have similiar issues or even worse ones....to those people I feel your pain..I just keep going forward as best I can with what life gives me..I know that sounds corny but its true.  I have good family, good friends, and a pretty good life and thats more than alot of people have.