The last couple of days I have felt like total shit but I had the chance to catch a couple of movies that I've really been looking forward to and decided to ignore the pain and watch them. The first movie my friends and I attended was Red starring Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, and Hellen Mirren as ex-CIA agents who become targets of the very agency they once worked for. I was saw the trailer for this movie a couple of months ago and it really peaked my interest. I thought the prospect of seeing Helen Mirren sporting combat boots and a sub machine gun would be an interesting movie going experience. I'm also a big fan of John Malkovich and Bruce Willis alone will usually make me want to see a movie. Unfortunately the movie really didn't live up to my expectations. Hellen Mirren didn't show up until the second half of the movie and the majority of her action scenes were in the trailer for the movie. Bruce Willis is mediocre in this movie and it just seemed like he just dialed in his performance. John Malkovich's performance was pretty entertaining as the insane ex-agent but there needed to be more of hom in it. Morgan Freeman's role was kinda pointless and pretty much anyone could have played it. I just felt as I was watching it that it could have been so much better. The plot was pretty lame and the liitle side romance between Willis and Mary Louise Parker was fairly annoying. I actually found some of the other performances in the film by the co-stars more compelling. Karl Urban's(LOTR and Doom) role as the active CIA agent in charge of bringing Willis in was pretty good and Brian Cox was interesting as an ex-Russian agent who has a past romantic history with Mirren's character. They even unearthed Ernest Borgnine(he is still alive?)and the
always annoying Richard Dreyfuss for cameos in this movie. I don't want to give the wrong impression about this movie...it's not a terrible movie. It's one of those movies that you wished could be so much more. That sometimes is worse then just being a flat out terrible movie. I would recommend skipping the theater for this one and waiting for it on DVD. I would give it a 6/10. I was looking forward to seeing Red but I was more excited in seeing the second movie of the night Jackass in 3d. Jackass movies are definitely not for everyone. For example, my wife and my friend's wife decided to leave after we watched Red. They were going to have no part in the juvenile hijinks that Johnny Knoxville and his gang take part in. I knew going in that my stomach, which was already hurting, was going to suffer for sitting through Jackass. I was either going to be in agonizing pain for laughing so hard or I was going to be sick from the gross pranks that are a staple of the Jackass movies. The charm(I can't believe I'm using the word charm to describe a Jackass movie)of these movies is that it reminds me of a time when I was a teenager and participated in silly and stupid things with my friends. Like the time when my friends and I would strip ears of corn and take the corn and launch it up against the aluminum siding of the houses in my neighborhood at 3 in the morning. The sound of the corn hitting the house ould pretty much wake up the entire neighborhood. I know...I was an ass. Like the times when my friends and I would jump our bikes over the dreaded "suicide hill" in the wooded area near our homes. I remember we even constructed a tennis ball cannon that would shoot tennis balls clear across the neighborhood. Those were the days. Mom if you are reading this...sorry... I was a little hellion. I think it's a guy thing. I never drank , smoked, or did drugs but I did do silly stupid things. I guess this is why I like these movies because these Jackass guys get to do these silly stupid things in their late 30's. Would I attempt any of these things.....Hell no! Would I let a teenage son of mine watch these movies?.....Nope! I was wondering going into this movie if these soon to be 40 year old guys would be able to still take the abuse they did 10 years ago when their show debuted on Mtv. I didn't wonder for long....towards the beginning of the movie they filled a makeshift teatherball with 50,000 African bees and proceeded to play a game smacking the bees back and forth while getting stung over and over again. Moronic? ....Yep! I couldn't stop laughing though. I think what is so funny to me is the pleasure they have causing each other pain. Rather it be sucker punching someone in the groin or sneaking up on someone and tasering them. Despit the fact that they are constantly hurting each other they appear to be having a blast doing it. They also do a lot of really funny hidden camera stuff that cracks me up. One of my favorite parts of the movie is a scene where they send Wee Man( a midget) and his date (another midget) into a local bar on what appears to be a date. A few minutes into the date, another midget walks in and starts yelling at Wee Man for stealing his woman. The man leaves the bar for a second and brings in a group of his midget friends and they begin fighting with Wee man. The regular patrons of the bar just look on in amazement as a midget bar brawl ensues. The funniest part of the whole bit was when two midget police officers come in to break up the brawl and then two midget paramedics come in to treat the injured. The looks on the people's faces were priceless. There are definitely gags that are done in bad taste and if you have a weak stomach or are easily offended this is not the movie for you. This is not a movie for everyone but if you just want to watch a bunch of morons cause pain to one another then this is the movie for you.8/10.
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